An Individual as the Society

At the beginning of the project, driven by curiosity about my schizophrenic grandmother and romanticized imaginations of her madness, I attempted to analyze her mental structure after her descent into madness and how she became that way. In the process of analyzing my grandmother, I discovered many similarities between us. Our lifelines seemed tightly intertwined. I never knew the rational version of her; my childhood was spent with her in her madness. I felt love, but I didn't know where this love came from. In her, I saw myself, my mother, and the future of my relationship with my mother. All of this filled me with curiosity, compelling me to keep questioning.

Carrying these questions, I embarked on the project. However, as the analysis progressed, my questions gave rise to even more questions. While delving into my grandmother's family history, these inquiries gradually evolved into a curiosity about myself—how my present self was formed, why my visual works take on their current form, and how, in my unconscious state, I was able to create such coherent and orderly series. This led me to explore my personal history. Over the course of more than a year of conversations, we indexed and analyzed my childhood, adolescence, and several critical stages that later triggered the collapse of my mental state. Through dialogues centered on my personal choices and my family of origin, my long-standing confusions were untangled into fine threads of clues, some of which gradually surfaced.